Source: IGN

There comes a time in every West Virginian’s life where they have to put up with something. They go through an initiation of some sorts. Let’s set the scenario.

You’re going on vacation with your family to New England, or hell, Florida. You schedule your vacation, get everything ready and load your family into the car for the trip. You get there, check into your hotel, and immediately go out for some fun. As you’re standing in line at the boardwalk (You just happened to be wearing a WVU shirt or some form of WV paraphernalia) and the guy in front of you says, “You’re from West Virginia?” and you proudly, immediately answer, “Yes! I am!”. All of the sudden, the guy says, “You all have shoes?”.

It can ruin a whole vacation. Nothing short of beating the guy to a pulp can make you feel better.

That’s what happened to me. It’s not that I’m a pansy and get my feelings hurt easily. I could really care less about what anyone thinks or says, especially people from out of state. I’m a pretty laid back guy. Just ask the people that know me. But within every West Virginian there is a ticking time bomb of sorts. And immediately, whenever someone mentions outhouses, no shoes, no teeth or any combination thereof – you’ve barked up the wrong tree.

There are some WVians that could really care less. They just laugh it off. And they are part of the problem. A problem that has been going on for a LONG time. It’s about time West Virginians everywhere fought back.

Meet Chris Needham, he’s a “journalist” (you’ll see why I put that in quotations) for NBC Washington. He’s about to find out what happens when that ticking time bomb goes off.

Mr. Needham wrote a disgusting article on NBC Washington’s website that would make even the most hardened Yankee cringe. NBC Washington removed the article, but it was still in Google’s cache and soon made it’s rounds around the interwebz. Allow me to show you this piece of trash that was passed for journalism.

Now the news that West Virginia has put a whole bunch of its important vital records on the Internet certainly raises the possibility of all kinds of cheap shots at our yokel neighbors to the West.
But that’d be completely unfair, a gross stereotype about our neighbors’ tar-paper shacks, which probably don’t even have enough electricity to power a Commodore anyway.
But if they did have one, they’d be able to log on to the new Web site and do all kinds of research, says the Herald-Mail. Here, for example, is a listing of all the birth certificates for people named Cletus. Here’s a listing of all the Twittys who’ve died in the state. And here’s a listing of all the weddings in the state where both the bride and the groom had the last name “Smith.”
Isn’t it enough that they have to poop in their backyard, running through the cold, fearing that the trap door on their red flannel pajamas should pop open early, exposing their nether regions to the bite of the winds? Why do we have to make fun of them for their misfortune?
So we won’t.
The site has all the data they have that’s legally shareable. Birth certificates can’t be shared for 100 years; death certificates are on ice for 50. Records from the Civil War aren’t available, as well as a few gaps where fire or flood took out a courthouse or two.
But if you’ve ever wondered what Hank Williams’ death registry looks like (you can put your hand down), now you can die happy. (And have someone from WV look at it 50 years later, once the Internet finally comes to the state.)

You get why we’re so angry now?

To add insult to injury Mr. Needham subsequently (see Needham? That’s a BIG word! And I know it!) dropped off the radar and hid from the fiery mob that was awaiting just across the border and around Washington. Mr. Needham, is a coward.

Jacqueline from Girl of Words (a West Virginian, and DC Journalist) wrote one of the most clever and articulate responses that I could find about this. This post really tops everything. I appreciate her for doing that.

After crafting that masterpiece of an article, Jacqueline found a comment from the douchebag himself – an apology, in the form of a blog comment. Here I will post it for you:

Fair points all. I can’t disagree with what you’ve written.

If you’re looking for a defense of the article, I won’t. It was stupid. It got pulled, and you’re right: I shouldn’t have written it, and it shouldn’t have been published.

From the many comments, tweets and posts I’ve read, it’s clear that it bothered and hurt a lot of people. I’m sorry for that. While that certainly wasn’t my intention, it was the effect; And I won’t argue that the intent outweighs — or even really matters compared to — the effect.

I appreciate the spirit and pride of many of the responses to my story. I, too, grew up in a small village in a rural area, and I know the kind of pride one can feel for a community and region; I’ve felt that before. For whatever reason, when I dashed off the story, I didn’t think about that, or think at all about the effect the words that I was using would have. Again, I apologize for that.

Sometimes when people read (or even write) apologies, it’s easy to find a non-apology apology with caveats and qualifications. If there’s one in here, that’s not what I’m going for.

I don’t expect most to even care what I have to say or care about the apology, and that’s understandable. I screwed up. I did something stupid. And that reaction would be reasonable.

Thanks for a well written response, and for helping give me some perspective on the issue.

– Chris

Cute isn’t it?

Just to cut this down a bit, I will also post my response. Which I have to say I actually surprised myself with my eloquence!

Chris,

As a few people here have said that they appreciate your apology, I don’t. I don’t appreciate your apology and I certainly don’t appreciate the hubris and outright arrogance you chose to write your article with.

“From the many comments, tweets and posts I’ve read, it’s clear that it bothered and hurt a lot of people.”

You think? You really don’t have a lot of sense do you? What do you expect? You “make fun” (I’d hardly call it that) of a whole group of people and expect us to just sit down and take it?

“While that certainly wasn’t my intention, it was the effect; And I won’t argue that the intent outweighs — or even really matters compared to — the effect.”

I think you really don’t know the difference between intent and effect. Admit it. It was your intention. You’re lying. You’re just trying to save your own ass. Which, I’m sorry, but you’re about to learn a lesson you will remember for the rest of your life and you will have nothing to blame but YOURSELF.

“I appreciate the spirit and pride of many of the responses to my story. I, too, grew up in a small village in a rural area, and I know the kind of pride one can feel for a community and region; I’ve felt that before.”

I don’t know that you really appreciate it, Chris. I really don’t. And I find it hard to believe that you actually grew up in a rural area.

You have felt that before? It sounds like you have a lot of personal problems and angst against people in rural areas. I can understand that somewhat (minus the rural part) because I have a lot of angst against people from big cities. But I’m sure with your article you have no idea what I’m talking about because you’ve NEVER experienced that before.

“For whatever reason, when I dashed off the story, I didn’t think about that, or think at all about the effect the words that I was using would have. Again, I apologize for that.”

That’s the problem with the media these days. They don’t think. It’s people like you that are driving broadcasting and print into a unmanageable black hole. It’s people like you that use your position to further your agenda and bring divisiveness and bitterness between countrymen. Shame on you.

“Sometimes when people read (or even write) apologies, it’s easy to find a non-apology apology with caveats and qualifications. If there’s one in here, that’s not what I’m going for.”

Sometimes? More like all of the time. And that’s exactly what you got – because your apology isn’t real. It’s not sincere. You don’t care. So why bother? Some people will accept it. And that’s their ignorance. That’s what will make this situation worse than it already is. But I refuse to. At least until I see some speck of sincerity in any apology for reconciliation you make from this point on – but I highly doubt it will convince me that you don’t deserve to be canned and blackballed.

“I don’t expect most to even care what I have to say or care about the apology, and that’s understandable. I screwed up. I did something stupid. And that reaction would be reasonable.”

Nope. Not after that article. I imagine most people will now regard you as a non-entity. It’s going to take a lot to pick up the pieces. It’s just not acceptable.

“Thanks for a well written response, and for helping give me some perspective on the issue.”

You need perspective. You need help. And you just caused a lot of people a lot of grief. I imagine there are many people that are going to have to come to terms with their heritage and where they’re from. And you just made it a lot harder for people to be proud of where they’re from. Too bad I don’t give a damn about you, your situation, or what you think. I’m proud of West Virginia. That’s why I’m so passionate, and angry about this. It just so happens that you made your “opinions” known in medium that has a very wide audience. You, sir, personally, I could really care less about.

You’ve pissed a lot of people off. And a lot of people out there are going to make sure you don’t have a job at the other end of it. I’m not the type of person, I’ll let them do the damage. But I will tell you, as much as you or other people may think this is not that big of a deal or a non-issue. You’ve got another thing comin’.

Needless to say, I think that I made my point. And no further explanation is needed.

I don’t accept his apology, and I think that he deserves to be fired.

If you want to see the piece of trash in .pdf form – here is the link.